As the season continues and I dig deeper and deeper into obscure Youtube videos for my Swag and Drag collection, I’ve come across a number of gems. While all of them are absolute keepers and warranted an immediate “Holy Crap, I’ve got to email this to myself RIGHT NOW!!” (that’s how I remember things), not all of them can reasonably warrant a whole column.
In fact, some of the most powerful, provoking Swag and Drag contestants are simply a picture, a whisper, a 10 second clip. So, rather than stretch the limits of my feeble imagination to come up with an accompanying 500 words, I’ve decided to put up an Odds and Ends post every couple of weeks that will encapsulate some of the better things I’ve seen around the internet. This week’s contestants:
1.) THIS VIDEO
Hahaha, how is this guy standing up after that? And not only standing, but laughing it off? I know the referee is supposed to be a nonexistent body on the floor but if Boozer did that to me, I’m calling a flagrant foul and charging the Bulls 10 points. Seriously?!? It looks like he hit him right in the groin! And if not that, at least winded him with a big time gut check. I mean, he winds all the way up before this celebratory fistbump. Too much. Kobe better watch this before he next decides to criticize Boozer’s defense.
2.) Nate Robinson. Yes, this Nate Robinson. Yes, also that Nate Robinson. Is opening a chicken and waffles restaurant in Seattle. I won’t go into this that much because Grantland already put up an excellent article about the place, complete with Youtube clips and reviews of the various dishes. Goddamn, it is time for a trip to the West Coast.
3.) This video, which has a place very near and dear to my heart. This could have been any other Youtube clip of a truly awkward free throw interaction. Instead, the players had a ton of fun with it and went full on mockumentary. While they probably sum it up better than I ever could, I will just say that there are no words in the English language that can describe how pathetic Kevin Love looks walking up to Wesley Johnson. Awkward turtle? Lovesick puppy? Truly, the worst moment in the past 22 years of Timberwolves basketball.
4.) And lastly, when attempting to look through ESPN’s profile pictures to see which player is deserving of the Derpiest face award, I came across a DIAMOND. Mostly, this exercise was really trying to see if anyone would be able to come close to Kyle Korver’s level of Supreme Derp Bridge Troll. It turns out the answer was no, but the search revealed this horrifying gif of Atlanta Animorph Kyle. Enough to give any sane man nightmares.
In closing, while I would appreciate it if everyone commented with their own little tidbits of Swag and Drag, I would also like to open this up for conversation: Is there a goofier, douchier looking player in the League right now than Mr. Bottoms Korver? If you have a face, I’d love to see it.