#13 – The Golden State Warriors

UNPOPULAR OPINION ALERT!!!!

Not really a huge fan of sustained, high-caliber excellence. And, not only that, but the kind of sustained, high-calber excellence that lacks any kind of real charisma or fun-party it up atmosphere. Yeah, and by the way shut up Draymond Green! You’re an obnoxious loudmouth; you don’t have the looks or the acting chops for a real on-screen performance. I mean, as much as I skipped out on the whole post-game distraction saga, I have to say say Riley Curry has more it-factor in her nae-nae than the rest of this team has off the court combined.

Part of this is a hater thing also. As a fan of one of the most dysfunctional (well okay, the most) it pisses me off to see organizational stability and success on the basketball court without any kind of personal drama or tragedy. It pisses me off to see Steve Kerr snub New York to go and have the most successful rookie coaching season of all time and leave us with the Matt Barnes punching bag. My example of this kind of jealousy haterade has always been more directed towards a team like San Antonio, and this year to a lesser degree the Hawks, but with the Spurs making a couple key additions and the Warriors largely staying pat, I have a new franchise to rail against.

Which is not to say that the Warriors won’t still be really, really good. Even if you think they suffer some kind of regression from a historical league-amazing 67 wins, everyone totally healthy season, they should still have the league’s deepest roster outside of a full-strength Oklahoma city and will benefit from a second year of playing together with Draymond at the 4 instead of the new sadness Celtic David Lee. Also, David Lee? Class act all the way. I mean, this is a team that came within fractions of a point of being the league leader in BOTH offensive and defensive efficiency (shoutout L.A.!!) and made people wonder why Steph Curry was only playing about 30 minutes a game in the regular season. BT Dubs, for a team to even finish in the top 5 is generally considered a strong case for a finals favorite let alone what these guys were able to do, which approached the levels of a ’96 ’97 Jordan Bulls dominance. And BT Dubs again, Steph didn’t need to play. He could rest on the bench during the 4th quarter because his team was already up 30 points.

Yeah and by the way, no hating on Andre Iguodala, Steph Curry should’ve taken home that Finals MVP. Yes, Igoudala outkicked his coverage by about 1000% and held Lebron to the kind of efficiency levels we’ve come to expect from a Dion Waiters-type (#Ballislife). However, and again coming from that “bunch of dorks with no talent that just wanted to get into the game” there is really no way to understate the complete way that Curry’s ability to hit 3 pointers off the dribble/behind the back/turning his back/with his eyes closed warps an entire defense to open up other looks. Even if he isn’t having the greatest night he’s still going to freak out the entire opposing squad because his ability to heat up in about 45 seconds impacts the game in a way few others do. It’s actually kind of cool to hate the Warriors because of this; I never got to see a truly transcendent Tim Duncan which means the Spurs have no one right now who can hit that otherworldly level of locked in the zone and get the Oracle screaming performance that Curry has.

And yet, I want the controversy! I want the pieces that don’t all fit together perfectly well. I was rooting for the “bad boy” (God I hate myself for using those words) James Harden to win the league’s MVP award over Curry last year and I’ll be rooting against young ankles Steph once again. In a sport that is as up close and personal as basketball, there’s just something wrong to me with perfection. There’s something wrong to me about a bunch of guys who show up, stay bland, do their jobs, and then celebrate with a quiet dinner at a fucking steakhouse.

Yes, the Warriors are way too low on here and I realize even if there isn’t that degree of charisma or swagger that these guys still are absolutely electrifying to watch. Barring some unseen catastrophe they should also be right back there on the biggest stage, duking it out in the Western Conference Finals. But I don’t have to like anything about it.

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